Miss Demeanors

Reflections on holidays past

November 28, 2017 Tracee de Hahn Uncategorized

My favorite Christmas memories are about being with my family. My parents always created a magical time of year, complete with sparkly tree, days of cooking favorite sweet and spicy treats, and, of course, gifts on Christmas Day. There was usually some project that took more time than anticipated and probably drove my mother crazy as we commandeered space she needed to do the real preparations for guests. Two projects that I remember in particular were making pine cone wreaths – incredibly messy – and creating all sorts of gingerbread projects, including the one pictured here. When I was a child, my mother’s cousins hosted a party on Christmas eve that to my young eyes was the height of sophistication. Technically I viewed the main event from the children’s party in their ‘rec room’. I have such clear memories that there must have been a lot of peeking and dashes into the main party to ask my parents a question of great importance. Looking back, I think that this was a heroic feat on their part the night before Christmas day – when they also served an amazing dinner for many guests! I lived in a small town and have fond memories of the Christmas parade (as a high school student in band I also remember it being very cold some years) and of special church services and caroling. My husband grew up in Europe and his memories have a greater sense of ‘the town’. Christmas markets filed the streets of Vienna, Austria and Lausanne, Gruyere, and Fribourg in Switzerland, the places where he spent most of his youth. Handcrafted ornaments and other decorations were displayed in abundance alongside mulled wine and roasted chestnuts. In Fribourg, the festival of Saint Nicolas was – and still is – a huge event. Held the first weekend in December, Saint Nicolas, the patron saint of the town, is mounted on a donkey and leads a cortege through the streets to the gallery of the cathedral. From his position high above the crowd he then makes his remarks. Thousands of people gather for the event, a true community celebration for all ages. To this day my husband’s friends who still live in Fribourg reunite for a fondue after the parade, and when we are there it is a true highlight of the season. I should confess that as I write this I am thinking…. hmmm maybe there is a short story in this.: Death at Saint Nicolas. The mere idea may get me banned from the festival…. What are your fondest holiday traditions? Any story ideas in them?

Oh Christmas Tree?

November 28, 2017 Alexia Gordon Uncategorized

A photo of FLOTUS’s White House Christmas decorations—a phalanx of up-lit, bare-branched white trees lining a black-tiled corridor illuminated only by a few pendant lamps and the lights on an equally dark Christmas tree at the corridor’s far end—generated lots of reaction on social media. Responses pretty much evenly split between “love it” and “hate it” (although I know of one person who said, “at least it’s different”). Many assumed that politics informed the reactions because, hey, everything is about politics these days. Right? Wrong, in my case. I voted “hate it” not because of political affiliation but because of—scary trees. I don’t think hip or trendy when I look at the photo of stark branches emitting an icy vibe. I think, “When are the flying monkeys going to attack?” “Where’s the Snow Queen hiding?” Jack Frost? The Abominable Snowman? Snow White’s wicked stepmother? The cast of an M. Night Shyamalan movie? Notice a theme? Forests, the woods, places filled with scary trees are places where evil lurks and bad things happen. They are not locations of holiday merriment. “Little Red Riding Hood”. The Princess Bride. “Hansel and Gretel”. The Blair Witch Project. The Cabin in the Woods. Deliverance. Do any of those stories stir the holiday spirit? Every time I pass a woods, I think of the news reports and true crime shows and episodes of “Law and Order” where a body was found in the woods by a hiker, hunter, dog walker, or Boy Scout. Don’t go in the woods. Add chilling darkness to the scary trees—as in the White House photo—and I cringe. When people talk about winter wonderlands I think “wonder” in the sense of “I wonder what I’m doing out here and I wonder where the nearest fireplace is”. I don’t do cold and dark. I can handle them each individually—cold or dark. Combined? No thanks. I moved from Alaska clear down to Texas to get away from a cold darkness that seemed to last forever. The dark is the worst. When it’s just cold, I can bundle up in stylish sweaters and fashionable coats, throw on a rakish scarf for some flair, and head outside to enjoy the bright winter sun. I’m a creature of light. I keep a light on the porch and a sting of fairy lights in my bedroom illuminated all night, to heck with the electric bill. I’d make the world’s worst vampire. While some people bemoan it as a sign of light pollution, I think the sight of cities lit up as you fly over them on the red-eye is beautiful. Neon signs flashing over city streets are magnificent. I never fail to stop and marvel. My town illuminated all of its (not scary) trees around the train station and Market Square with thousands of miniature lights for the holidays. I love it. A forest of light is a forest where nothing lurks. I’m sure a folklorist or psychologist would explain how the forest represents our primal fear of the unknown and the danger that awaits those who dare venture away from the safety and security of the tribe/family/familiar. I’m not going to tell you any of that. I’m going to say there’s a reason, a reason that has nothing to do with holiday cheer, so many authors and filmmakers set their horror stories and cautionary tales in the woods—the colder and darker, the better. What’s the scariest place you can think of to set a story? What do you think of when you see woods in the winter?

What's her name today?

November 27, 2017 Tracee de Hahn Uncategorized

Every writer, and many readers, have heard stories about character names. One famous example is how Scarlett O’Hara was Pansy before the final printing. I’m not saying Gone With the Wind wouldn’t have survived this, but Scarlett certainly set the tone for the character in a way Pansy wouldn’t have. I’ve working on names for book three of the Agnes Lüthi mysteries and I’ve already had a few naming issues. Since this is a continuing series the main characters are established. The Vallotton family plays a prominent role in each of the first two books and will in the third. So why did I think Veillon was a good last name for an important character in book three? To me, Vallotton and Veillon are two distinct names. To my Beta readers, evidently not. (To make matters worse, I hastily changed Veillon to Langren before sending to my writers’ group…. except I didn’t really. I substituted a misspelling. This meant that when I tried a auto substitution to the final name (Rochebin) I only had one instance to change. For a moment I thought: how is it possible I used the name of one of the most important characters one time in the entire manuscript.) For me, names carry connotation. My books are set in Switzerland which means the name can have a regional association. Do I want to emphasize their linguistic affiliation? Or the fact that they are a foreigner? (Smythe, for example.) Beyond a sense of historical place or ethnicity, names carry connotations that are personal or cultural. Trendy names, classic names. What does a nickname say about a person? Any favorite or least favorite fictional names?

With Songs in Our Hearts

November 24, 2017 Robin C. Stuart Uncategorized

Over the river and through the wood? Or leaving on a jet plane? What song describes how you’re spending the Thanksgiving holiday weekend? I’m thinking mine is “You’ve Got A Friend.” My parents opened our home to friends and neighbors every Thanksgiving and now my friends are doing the same. The blessings I’m counting this year are the human kind, including my fabulous Miss Demeanors posse! Cate: I’m doing Friendsgiving! Tracee: My song this holiday is anything by Edith Piaf or Charles Aznavour! I am in NYC with my husband and his French speaking Swiss friends so there is a strong French theme. The theme was nearly ruined when we were in a French Brasserie eating to the music of Simon and Garfunkle followed by The Beach Boys. Alexia: My song is “Alice’s Restaurant”. Not really Alice’s. Probably the Deerpath Inn’s Restaurant. Theonly thing I’m making for Thanksgiving is reservations. I’ll spend the rest of the day being thankful for the chance to sleep in and for time to work on my manuscript. I’m going home to visit my parents for Christmas so Thanksgiving is just me and the cat. And I’m cool with that. Susan: I’m thinking John Denver’s Country Roads, Take me home/To the place, I belong. I’ve been going to my uncle’s house for Thanksgiving almost every year of my life, and you have to drive on a lot of country roads to get there, and he has a huge window, and when we walk up to the house and I look in the window and see all my family there, I know I’m home. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I feel especially blessed to have the Miss Demeanors in my life. Tracee: These are each and every one a perfect plan. Paula: This Thanksgiving it will probably be just me and Michael, for the first time in a long time no kids will be here. But that’s OK. I love Thanksgiving and even if all of my children have abandoned me (no guilt there), I am content to light the fire and roast a turkey and drink all the Old New England Egg Nog I can. Old New England Egg Nog is made with, and I quote here right from the label, “Kentucky Straight BourbonWhiskey, Rum, Brandy and Blended Whiskey.”Happy Thanksgiving, all! Alison: Ooooh. There’s something so wonderfully wrong about that eggnog. Paula: Well let’s put it this way: Most people object to eggnog because it’s too thick. But this eggnog is not, thanks to all the booze. Also: My 82-year-old mother loves this eggnog, and the first Christmas we served it she got drunk. It was really awesome, because none of us had ever seen her drunk before. (Except of course my dad, when she was very young.) Getting my mother drunk has now become an annual tradition now LOL Cate: My song would be a mashup of Britney Spears’ Work, B**** and I Can Cook, Too, all sung by Pink, and remixed by Marshmello.I gave this a lot of thought. I think it encapsulates needing to finish a rewrite by the end of the month (I’ve had four weeks to do it in total) and preparing food for my family and friends. Michele: I’m traveling back to Boston after a week in hurricane ravaged St. John which got another dose of heavy rain while we were there. I’ll go with Bridge Over Troubled Water this Thanksgiving. Besides I still ❤️ Simon and Garfunkel. Paula: I realize I totally forgot about the song. Part of my ritual every year is to listen to Christmas songs while I prepare the meal. My favorite is I’ll be Home for Christmas, which I listen to while stuffing the turkey and drinking, you guessed it, Old New England Egg Nog. Alison: Okay, so I get to be the bittersweet one. My song is “Good Old Days” by Macklemore featuring Kesha. My brother, sister-in-law and adorable niece and brand-new nephew moved from Brooklyn to LA this summer. For years, Thanksgiving has been an amazing feast with both our families–and whoever else was around–at our place upstate in the middle of the woods. This year, we’re lucky my father-in-law is joining us, but it will be a small affair (and the last Thanksgiving before my daughter graduates from high school). I can’t deny I’m not missing my wonderful brother just a little bit…and thinking about the good old days. Robin: Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 23, 2017 Robin C. Stuart Uncategorized

The Miss Demeanors wish you & yours a happy holiday! We’re thankful for YOU!

Reflections

November 22, 2017 Robin C. Stuart Uncategorized

This week marks my last turn at the Miss Demeanors wheel for 2017. I decided it would be a good time to pause and reflect. There were a lot of “firsts” for me this year: – My first panel as an author, at the Mystery Writers Conference at Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA, where I participated in the “Cybercrime 101” discussion alongside current and former FBI agents. I had so much fun, I spoke at 2 more conferences after that. – My first high-5 by a NYT & USA Today best-selling author. J.T. Ellison was a fellow panelist at the above-mentioned conference who attended the cybercrime talk. She congratulated me on scaring the hell out of her. – My first profile piece. The Northern California chapter of Sisters In Crime featured a Q&A with me in the November issue of the Stiletta newsletter. – My first mention in Writer’s Digest with the Miss Demeanors making the list of 101 Best Websites for Writers. – My first recognition at a writers’ conference. The Miss Demeanors were included in the celebration at the New England Crime Bake banquet for making the Writer’s Digest list. I also got to spend time with a couple of my fellow Miss Demeanors in real life during that weekend. – And, of course, joining the Miss Demeanors. It’s been a banner year for this newbie. I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store.

Where're You Going?

November 21, 2017 Robin C. Stuart Uncategorized

Having recently returned from a cross-country trip I was reminded of one of the ways I entertain myself on airplanes. I try to figure out which of my fellow travelers are going to the same destination for the same reason I am. Sometimes it’s easy. Flights to Las Vegas in late July or early August carry gamblers and hackers headed to Black Hat/DefCon. The latter tend to stand out – lots of black clothing, tattoos, and laptops with privacy screens. It’s not unusual to see business cards and vendor schwag exchanged among seat mates. The game is more challenging on other trips. The New England Crime Bake, for example. I ended up being the only person on my flight headed to Boston from the West Coast for that purpose although I did spot a couple of other writers. At least, I think they were. One person pulled out a notebook and wrote in long hand, curled up in her seat. The other had a laptop. They both had that faraway contented expression I get when I write, as opposed to the make-every-minute-count scowl of day job business travelers. I sometimes wonder if anyone else plays this game. I know at least one of my seat mates over the last year noticed something I do on long flights. I set aside my Kindle or pause movies periodically, pull out my laptop, make notes, then put my laptop away again. At the end of the flight he finally asked me if I was a writer. On this, one of the busiest travel days of the year, air travel will be stressful for a lot of folks. Making a game of it can help take some of the sting out. So, where’re you going?

Cloudy With A Chance of Uh Oh

November 20, 2017 Robin C. Stuart Uncategorized

We’re into the home stretch of NaNoWriMo. Are you storing your manuscript on “the cloud”? You may want to reconsider. On October 31, hundreds of people reported that Google Drive ate their homework. During a window of 10 hours, documents were deleted or locked. Some people saw a message saying the documents violated Google’s Terms of Service. Other people saw no error, they just lost control of their own work. Google’s official position is the “glitch” (I really hate that word) was due to a code push. See https://www.zdnet.com/article/google-docs-lockout-its-fixed-google-says-but-users-fret-over-creepy-monitoring/ for more. This isn’t the first time such an event occurred and it won’t be the last. It should serve as a reminder to those of us who create content that we need to be mindful of who has ultimate control. If you store your work on someone else’s system, like the cloud, it isn’t you. My preference is to keep my work solely under my control. I also believe in backups, as in plural. Accidents happen but the odds of losing a computer hard drive, a full backup, and 2 or 3 thumb drives simultaneously are small. A virus could wipe out most of them in one fell swoop, of course, which is why all operating systems need protection (I’m looking at you, Mac users). This is also why, out of an abundance of caution, I print out each draft of my works in progress. Paper doesn’t crash. It’s also satisfying to see my accomplishments in a physical form. How do you save your work?

Saying no

November 17, 2017 Susan Breen Uncategorized

I am one of those people who says yes to everything, until one person too many asks and then I lose my temper and explode. Or whimper, anyway. Over the last few years I’ve become the slightest bit more assertive, but at the current trajectory, I should reach emotional maturity by time I turn 100. So I asked my Miss Demeanors if they had difficulty saying no. Robin: No (see what I did there?). Seriously, “no” is not a problem for me. My first instinct is usually to overextend myself when I get enthusiastic but I’ve learned to pick and choose quality over quantity. It’s better and healthier for me to put my passion and energy into fewer endeavors and knock them out of the park rather than risk half-assing something that will come back to haunt me. I’m perfectly comfortable “being the bad guy” for a moment rather than regretting a squandered opportunity for a lifetime. And, honestly, it’s rare that “no” makes me “the bad guy.” “No” doesn’t always mean “never.” It often means “not right now.” Tracee: I don’t have a problem using that particular two letter word. Part of this comes from years running large organizations highly dependent on volunteer help – I had to listen to my fair share of Nos. When I turn someone down I try to be specific so they will know that No means No, or No means Later or No means maybe a Yes if my assignment was different. I try to respect the No, and that means saying it with respect. That said, I don’t think that a No requires an explanation. As my mother would say “No, but thank you for asking.” End of story. When the time is right, it might turn into a yes! After all, for all things there is a time. Paula: I may paste what Robin has to say on my refrigerator LOL I read somewhere that you should spend the first part of your career saying yes to everything and then when you reach a certain level of success, it’s time to start saying no to everything. I still say yes more often than I should, but I’m getting better. Cate: I am horrible at saying no. Case in point: I am cooking a turkey for the second grade class for thanksgiving and my edit/rewrite is due at the end of the month. I also agreed to read and blurb someone’s book. I have problems. Michele: You do realize you’re asking a woman who one year ago today agreed to cochair a conference for writers and readers and who just came home from it. I don’t need the sign with Robin’s quote on my refrigerator. I need to crawl into the refrigerator and hide. I’m learning to say no and I’m selective about what I say yes to. On the other hand, saying yes means you have full life. Remember that quote, if you want something done, ask a busy person. I say yes a lot because I want to. Alexia: My ability to say “no” depends on the situation. I find it much harder to say no to friends than I do at work. I used to be afraid to say no to anyone. I wanted to be the “nice” girl who everyone liked, the indispensable Janie-on-the-spot. During my second year of residency (I remember the moment: standing near the elevators after a particularly crappy day on my 2nd pediatrics rotation.) I realized that always saying yes was getting me nowhere. People didn’t appreciate me; they took advantage of me. They interpreted niceness as weakness and went in for the kill. And at the end of the day, they still didn’t like me. No one likes their doormat. Uses it, sure. Likes it? Not so much. At that moment my animal brain woke up and said, “Screw nice. Let’s talk survival. These people aren’t your friends and won’t become your friends. Since they’re going to dislike you anyway, let them dislike you for not being a pushover. Have the spine to stand up for your own interests.” Magic happened. I’d pay money to see the expression on the face of someone who assumed I’d acquiesce (translation: roll over and play dead) when I asserted myself and said no to their plan, then explained the good reason I said no, and offered a better, more balanced alternative. Friends are different. I actually want to accommodate my friends’ requests because they’re my friends and that’s what you do for friends. Saying no is hard so I take the sneaky way out and pretend I didn’t get the message (phone call, email, text, etc). Avoidance: the preferred technique of passive aggressives, cowards, and people with boundary issues everywhere.Oddly, with family it’s a bit easier to say no. Probably because they’re stuck with me. Bwahahaha. Alison: I don’t like to say no to anyone, but I’m learning that it’s not only a necessary life skill, it’s a critical one. I’ve spent too many years saying yes to things I didn’t want to do, doing those things well, and being resentful. Now, I try my best to determine whether I’ll actually enjoy whatever it is that is being asked of me. If the answer is no, I say no if I can (familial obligations excepted). With close friends, I’ll give an honest explanation: “I’d love to help out with your charity project right now, but with my daughter applying to college, I just can’t take anything else on.” Otherwise, I find that a simple, “I’m sorry, I just can’t devote the time this deserves right now” works just fine.Now, if only I didn’t feel guilty after I said no, I think I might be on my way to good mental health. Tracee: Guilt after saying no is better than guilt after saying yes!