Author: Susan Breen

 I have a confession. Some days, I don’t want to write. Some days, I don’t want to do anything: write, blog, pay bills, pay taxes, register my car, go to work, fix dinner, do laundry, take out the trash, make my bed… You get the idea. Some days I don’t want to be a responsible adult. What I’d like to do on days when adulting is overwhelming is run away–to a cave (a deluxe cave with furniture and rugs) on a mountain top, a cabin in a remote forest, a boat in the middle of the ocean–and hole up far away from everyone and everything. Be a hermit. I’d like to flip a switch and put the world on pause until my head stopped swimming and I emerged from my fog. Of course, life not being a sci-fi novel, I can’t stop the world. Life goes on. Running away is impractical. You have to do stuff whether you want to or not. What do I do when flight is not an option and I have to stick around and fight? I’ve discovered a few tricks to tame the world: Break big tasks into smaller ones. Facing 3 or 4 small problems feels less overwhelming than facing one huge problem.Celebrate small successes. 50 words written is better than zero. Half done is better than undone and you only have half as far to go.Get out of the house. Go to the library, a coffee shop, a co-working space and work there. A change of scenery often changes perspective. Set deadlines. Having a target to aim for makes tasks seem finite. Due “whenever” is too nebulous for me. I find it too easy to tell myself I’ll get around to it eventually without ever getting around to it. Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone feels overwhelmed. No one is perfect. Really.Say no, if you can, or at least delegate. Be honest. Do you really, truly, absolutely, positively have to do it? If the answer is, “no, not really,” it’s okay not to if your cup already runneth over. Or maybe you could give someone else the opportunity. Share the load. Yes, you have to pay taxes. But perhaps an accountant could do the paperwork.Take breaks. Sometimes a walk or a cup of tea or a cheesy movie on Netflix is exactly what your brain needs to reset itself and get back in the game. Just don’t let “I’m taking a break” turn into “I’m never going back”. Your life needs you. How do you keep driving forward when you’d really rather not? 

I’m at my first New England Crime Bake, the annual mystery conference hosted by New England chapters of Sisters in Crime and Mystery Writers of America. The conference offered panels on everything from author branding to writing historical mysteries. Plus pizza and dessert parties, a cocktail party, and dinner. Booksellers’ alley proved irresistible and my TBR pile grew by half a dozen books.Writers’ conferences are new to me. Somehow, I remained unaware of them until I started trying to get my book published. I missed out on so much fun. Meeting readers and writers and agents and editors–one big, supportive community coming together around a shared love of mystery and books.My problem now is deciding which conferences to go to. There are so many and they all look like a blast–Bouchercon, Thrillerfest, Malice Domestic, Left Coast Crime, DFWCon to name a few. And they’re held in so many fabulous places–Toronto, Hawaii, New Orleans, Dallas, New York City. Plus Europe and probably other continents, too. As much as I’d like to hit them all, time and budget restrain my conference wanderlust. I’d be broken and on the road all the time if attended every one that caught my eye. I’m checking out as many as I can. I hope to become a repeat attendee at some. In all cases, I’m meeting new friends and allies and scoring some great new reads.

This week’s been a rough one. I’ve got a deadline for edits on the manuscript for book two in the Gethsemane Brown series looming, I’ve had to write blog posts this week, I’m on temporary assignment for work, enrolled in a graduate level course where an entire semester’s worth of assignments are crammed into 28 days. Oh yeah, and I’m making a lightning quick weekend trip to Massachusetts to attend my first New England Crime Bake conference–with edits and homework stuffed in my carry-on. I had grand plans for NaNoWriMo but you know the old saying about mice. Add to all that the fear and anxiety I feel after recent events left me wondering if a significant portion of my fellow Americans declared open season on people who look like me and I’ve been fighting hard all week the urge to curl up in a ball in the back of the closet and cry. Then something happened to remind me good people still exist in this world, people who will offer you support without you even asking for it.My class was making plans for the weekend–lunch, museums, bowling, distillery tours. When I explained I wouldn’t be joining them because I’d be at New England Crime Bake and told them I’d recently published my first novel, they were happy and excited for me. Thirteen people who I didn’t know–never even seen–before we arrived on campus three weeks ago wished me well. They asked questions about the conference and my novel and at out being an author. Some even said they’d buy my book. They showed genuine interest in, and concern for, me. My spirits rose from somewhere around my big toe to the center of my chest. I still wanted to cry but for different reasons. Good reasons.Although I’m still stressed about my workload I no longer feel the world’s turned against me. I’ll finish my edits and my homework, sign up for Camp NaNo in the spring, and enjoy the conference. And when someone shares their news with me I’ll be happy for them and wish them well.

My research for Murder in G Major extended beyond the distillery. One of my main characters is a ghost so paranormal activity landed at the top of my research list. A lot of my research took the former of binge watching Ghost Adventures on Sling TV (true confession: Zak Bagan is my secret crush) and listening to Derek Jacobi narrate M. R. James’s ghost stories on Audible. Side note: if you’ve never heard James’s ghost stories read aloud you owe yourself a listen. He read the stories aloud to friends at Christmas. They were meant to be heard. Just leave the lights on.Of course, I read about the paranormal, too. I learned a spellbook is called a grimoire, defined by dictionary.com as “a manual of magic or witchcraft” and by Wikipedia as “a textbook of magic, typically including instructions.” I learned ghost orbs come in different colors and the different colors have different meanings. I also learned that Ireland ,  an island covering roughly 30,000 square miles, provides enough supernatural material to keep you busy researching for two lifetimes. Since my novel is set in Ireland, I dove in.One tale I came across is that of the Banshee or wailing woman. Her story gives us the phrase, “screaming like a Banshee.” Some versions portray her as a beautiful woman, some as a hideous hagen, but in all of the tales she lets out a blood-curdling cry that portends death.A lesser known tale is that of the black cat of Killakee. When Killakee House in Dublin underwent renovations in the 1960s a mysterious black cat repeatedly appeared in the house, often in areas he couldn’t possibly have gotten into. He would snarl at workmen and the property owners then vanish. An exorcism got rid of him but an ill-advised séance brought him back.These are only two of Ireland’s countless paranormal tales. I wouldn’t want to encounter either face to face but research let me experience a thrill from a safe distance.

I enjoy doing research for my novels. Research provides opportunities to travel to new places and experience new things. It lends authenticity and depth to characters, plot, and setting. Beyond that, research sparks new interests. Through research for my novels I discovered things I wanted to learn more about outside the bounds of my novel.Take bourbon, for instance. Bourbon plays a big role in my novel, Murder in G Major. I didn’t know much about whiskey in general or bourbon in particular before writing my manuscript. I  recognized some of the bigger brand names and knew some bourbon was meant to be mixed into cocktails while some was meant to be enjoyed on its own  (and the types are not interchangeable) but that’s about it. Through research I learned “bourbon” is legally codified: it must be distilled in the US (in any state; sorry, Kentucky) from a grain mash containing at least 51% corn in new charred oak barrels at no more than 160 proof. It must be aged in the barrel at least two years to be called straight bourbon and must be bottled at no more than 125 proof. Which equals 62.5% alcohol–enough to get your attention. Bourbon can be bottled as at blend from several barrels or can be bottled from a single barrel. A good percent of each barrel’s contents is lost to evaporation–the angels’s share–and some soaks into the barrel’s wood–the devil’s cut. Such romantic names for lost product. Bourbon distillers can only use a barrel once. But instead of wasting a good barrel they sell them to distillers in Ireland and Scotland. Whiskey and whisky have no restrictions against used barrels (an eco-friendly aspect of distilling). So when you enjoy a dram of Scotch or Irish whiskey, you may be enjoying a hint of the good ol’ USA.Another fun fact I learned while researching? Distilleries give tours. I recently toured the bucolic Holladay Distillery in Weston, Missouri. 160 years old, the former McCormick Distillery  (renamed after original founder, Benjamin Holladay) is back in the business of distilling spirits. The tour wound past gorgeous scenery, warehouses dating from the early 1900s to the 1950s, the original limestone well and, to quote our enthusiastic tour guide, a bad*** still. We learned about each step in the bourbon making process from roasting locally sourced corn to loading 500-pound locally made barrels onto the racks where they’ll spend the next three years waiting for their unaged whiskey to mellow into fine bourbon. I’ve already got my barrel picked out. (Not really. But I did buy a bottle of unaged spirits. Cheers!)