Author: C. Michele Dorsey

 T’is the season to be jolly for many, but this is a public service announcement to remind those giddy with gift buying, tree decorating, and stocking stuffing, Christmas for many is agony.   For 35 years as an attorney practicing family law, I have personally witnessed the anomaly of Christmas. I wonder how a 24-hour holiday has managed to dominate our calendar beginning not before Thanksgiving as we once lamented, not before Halloween as we once complained, but now coinciding with the back-to-school frenzy. With four solid months to prepare for one day during which we are perfectly happy sharing a Martha Stewart feast with our television ready family, how is that so many of us fail to find bliss in Christmas?   It may have to do with money, or the lack of it. I am always swarmed by requests from clients in the fall to return to court for unpaid child support and alimony. For families who have been reconfigured into what society considers untraditional units, although they probably outnumber those considered traditional, Christmas is particularly challenging. During the season of sharing and caring, bouts of who-gets-the-kids-for-Christmas-this-year fill courthouses with shouting matches and an underlying profound sadness that Christmas will never be as perfect as it once was, or they’d like to believe it was.  Parents are desperate to meet the expectations advertisers, not necessarily their children, place like bundles on their doorstops. Even affluent families who can afford to buy Luke Skywalker’s Star Wars Landspeeder for $249.99 feel the underlying pressure and competition to have the best outdoor light display or a tree so over-sized it belongs in a national park. Everyone must receive a gift that not only shows appreciation, but also that the donor is a creative genius. You can no longer simply slip your postal carrier a few bucks. Now money must be included in a singing card with photos of the charming children and an adorable golden doodle. You get extra points if the dog is singing. And now that you buy everything online, don’t forget the UPS, Fed-ex, DHL deliverers.             Everybody is so happy, happy. Everything is so perfect, perfect. Ugly Christmas sweater competitions, the elf on the shelf mandatory ritual, secret Santa swaps. Are we having fun yet?            If you are blessed with bounty and harmony and are having the time of your life, good for you. But for those who are reminded at Christmas just how imperfect their lives are, a deep sadness running to clinical depression can set in. Not everyone has the money to buy what’s on their kids’ wish lists. Many people come from splintered families and feel the division more acutely during a season that demands unity and harmony, and even that it be jolly. Those with debilitating chronic illnesses are not given a reprieve for the holidays. The imperfections of life refuse to take a holiday during the holidays.            Be gentle with those who are not enjoying the season to be jolly. For them, it can be the season of melancholy. Be kind to yourself and have a gentle little Christmas. 

   I love an underdog, so it shouldn’t be surprising that I love parsnips. You rarely hear, “Please pass the parsnips” at the Thanksgiving table. You are more likely to hear, “What are those?” from a child wearing an expression of fear and dread. What are parsnips? According to Wikipedia, “The parsnip is a root vegetable closely related to the carrot and parsley. It is a biennial plant usually grown as an annual. Its long, tuberous root has cream-colored skin and flesh; and left in the ground to mature, it becomes sweeter in flavor after winter frosts.” Parsnips are oddball vegetables, for sure. I wouldn’t eat one raw and they do have a smell that, shall I say, is unfamiliar to most. But I like oddballs. I gravitate toward people who march to a different drummer. Why should I be different in my choice of vegetables? When I think about who are some of my favorite characters in books, I find they are often the nonconformists, like Ruth in Louise Penny’s Chief Inspector Gamache series. Ruth is a drunken poet who loves a duck. She probably loves parsnips. I’ll bet Agatha Raisin, Doc Martin, and Vera are all parsnip fans.  And don’t forget today’s parsnip can be tomorrow’s Brussels sprouts. You do remember Brussels sprouts before roasting them with olive oil and balsamic vinegar made them the new vegetable darlings, don’t you? Even President George H.W. Bush’s declaration about how he hated broccoli (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQmTeVf2nJ8) only managed to gain popularity for it. So as a proud parsnip fan, I will be bringing it to Thanksgiving to share with others who may not have yet fallen for its charms. Here’s my recipe. Try and see if you aren’t corralled into the Parsnip Fan Club. Michele’s In Defense of Parsnips Recipe Ingredients: Shallots (3 small) diced.Parsnips  (3 bunches or bags, if you must)Butter (2 TBS for sautéing shallots; more to taste to moisten parsnips)Cranberry & Orange Puree (I take ½ cup of the fresh cranberry sauce I make and puree it) Directions Sauté the shallots in two TBS of butter in a saucepan until they are soft and golden. Steam the parsnips until tender. Then puree adding butter to taste. The more the butter, the merrier the parsnips. A dash of cream makes the parsnips velvety. Make sure you’ve invited a cardiologist to your table. Add shallots to parsnips and mix. Place in casserole dish. Top with pats of butter. Then drizzle cranberry orange puree on top to fool and entice skeptics. Warm in 325 degree oven until ready to serve.     

THE WOMAN UNDERWATER by Penny Goetjen To be released 7.26.22 MICHELE: I had the privilege of reading an ARC of[…]

 I’ve been working on a stand-alone mystery for a while now. Quite a while, actually. Maybe too long. But, because it is the only book that will feature my protagonist, everything I write about her seems very important. Very.             It’s made me think about books that I love and why. I keep coming back to the notion that what a character values most is the driving theme in those stories. I’m a big fan of police procedurals, especially British and Irish one. Tana French, Elizabeth George, Peter Robinson, and Ann Cleeves’ series all have heroes who are driven to pursue justice for their victims. Their stories, the particulars, are all secondary to that theme. Louise Penny’s cast of characters seeks a sense of belonging, while preserving their identities as strong individuals. Thrillers, traditional mysteries, and cozies are all based on what the protagonist values. James Patterson’s Alex Cross. Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Millhone. Barbara Ross’s Maine Clambake series features a protagonist who is trying to save the family business, which will save the family.Justice. Belonging. Family. Values.  During my thirty-plus years practicing family law I learned what people value most becomes apparent when they are getting divorced. Most people are terrified about losing the family they love, as they know it, even if they are the one pursuing the divorce. Sometimes, a parent who has only exhibited a casual interest in his children will transform into the parent of the year. Other people mourn the loss of in-laws who have become family to them, even though they had complained about their prolonged visits. Then, there is the loss of “stuff,” which often boils down to the battle of “tools and jewels.” As soon as he starts touting the exorbitant amounts he paid for her jewelry, she demands an accounting of all of those “fancy-ass tools you bought yourself.” Possessions become symbols of what a spouse values and is about to lose. Loss. The threat that one is about to lose that which he or she values most must lurk beneath all of the events in a story, just as it does in real life. If your character doesn’t care enough about what’s going on in a plot, it may be that’s because you haven’t given him reason to care. Values are our reasons to care. If your character doesn’t have them, your readers won’t care any more than he does. What values do you find most compelling in stories?