Ten Little Words: The Pain-Free Way to Tighten Your Manuscript

The book publishing industry has always been concerned with word count. Depending on your genre, your manuscript might end up anywhere from 65,000 to 125,000 words. The more words, the more pages; and the more pages, the higher the production costs. In the last few years, paper alone has increased dramatically in price. Publishers must think of the bottom line.

So must today’s authors.

For the first time in my writing career, my publisher has asked me to cut 8,000 words from my latest manuscript—a daunting task. I’m almost finished, and in the process, I’ve come up with three pain-free methods to share.

The guiding principle is simple: delete an average of ten words on every page.

If your book has 300 pages, for example, you will have cut 3,000 words right off the bat.

Here are three easy ways to accomplish that:

“TAKE OUT EVERYTHING THAT ISN’T THE BOOK”

I’ve written about this before. It’s a quote from my friend and fellow writer Hank Phillippi Ryan, and it’s changed my writing. In my current manuscript, my American protagonist, Kate Hamilton, is now happily married to DI Tom Mallory and living permanently in Suffolk, England. It’s the Fourth of July, so naturally Kate thinks of the celebrations she experienced in the past. She’s coming to terms with this major change in her life, and I wanted to allow her a moment of reflection and a thought for her mother in the US.

THE ORIGINAL:

It was the Fourth of July. Memories of sparklers, hot dogs, and root beer floats filled my mind. I smiled to myself, remembering the annual parade down the main street of our small Wisconsin town, the police cars with their lights flashing, everyone waving the Stars and Stripes. We always watched the fireworks show from a neighbor’s lawn, lying on beach towels, ooh-ing and aah-ing as the pyrotechnics ramped up toward the grand finale.

My mother and James would be at his daughter’s lake house in Wisconsin. I imagined them sitting on the dock after dark, watching the bursts of color reflected in the dark water below.

The Brits have fireworks on November fifth, Guy Fawkes Day, but for me, it could never take the place of the Fourth of July. As much as I loved my new life in Suffolk, my history would always have its roots elsewhere.

THE REVISION:

It was the Fourth of July.

My mother and James would be at his daughter’s lake house in Wisconsin. I imagined them sitting on the dock after dark, watching the bursts of color reflected in the dark water below.

As much as I loved my new life in Suffolk, my history would always have its roots elsewhere.

In the revision, Kate still makes a mental note of the date. She still thinks of her mother and the change in her own life. But by cutting a memory that was sweet but not really necessary and not actually “the book,” I saved 58 words on a single page, allowing me to keep the last sentences in the scene, which I love:

“By the way,” Tom said, grinning at me. “Happy Fourth of July. Are you planning to celebrate?”

“In my heart only.” I laughed. “Ivor texted me this morning. He said, ‘We always knew you’d be back.’”

REWORK SENTENCES, SAYING THE SAME THING IN FEWER WORDS

Once again, the example is from my work-in-progress, and I’ll show the running revisions:

I plugged in the electric kettle. Tom sat at the huge pine table that had been resting rested on the old flagstones longer than anyone could remember. Two or three centuries of history were etched into the top—burn marks where I imagined a candle had gone over, leaving traces of wax in the wood fibers; scratches made by generations of children practicing their letters; shallow cuts where loaves of bread had once been sliced, and deeper ones where a joint of meat may have been prepared for the turnspit. The table reminded me of my late grandmother’s face, the lines and wrinkles from raising seven children on a working farm in Wisconsin making her all the more beautiful to me.

A postcard lay on the table, showing a view of the French coastline Riviera. Tom turned it over to read the few hastily scrawled lines: “From my mother. ‘Fabulous. Wish you were here.’”

“Where are they?” I asked.

“As of three days ago, the French Riviera.”

This time a simple reworking and rewording of sentences saved 23 words, which is good because deleting 10 words on every page isn’t always possible. Take them where you can.         

TRIM & TIGHTEN DIALOGUE

I love this one because I’ve found that, generally speaking, tightening dialogue is an excellent practice, even when you don’t have to trim words. People rarely speak in complete sentences anyway. Here’s my example:

THE ORIGINAL:

“Is there CCTV coverage here at the site?” Cartwright asked.

“No CCTV,” Nevin said. “The caravan is alarmed.”

“What about Ravenswyck Court?”

Belcourt answered. “We installed cameras at Ravenswyck a few years ago. They’re on a three-day rolling repeat.”

“We’ll need the footage as soon as possible,” Tom said. “DS Ren will be in touch.”

Cartwright changed topics. “You say you were all at the pub last night?”

“Not me.” Belcourt held up a hand. “Not my thing.”

“Nor me,” Nevin said. “I had some work to finish up. There’s always a lot to do at the end of term, you know. I remained at the cottage we share on the estate.”

THE REVISION:

“CCTV coverage here at the site?” Cartwright asked.

“No, but the caravan is alarmed,” Nevin said.

“What about Ravenswyck Court?”

Belcourt answered. “We installed cameras a few years ago. They’re on a three-day rolling repeat.”

“We’ll need the footage,” Tom said. “DS Ren will be in touch.”

Cartwright changed topics. “You say you were all at the pub last night?”

“Not me.” Belcourt held up a hand. “Not my thing.”

“Nor me,” Nevin said. “I had work to finish up. End of term, you know. I remained at The Forge.”

This time I saved 21 words, and I think the dialogue is actually better.

THE TAKE-AWAY

I know some of you have the opposite problem—adding words. A lack of words has never been my problem. For those writers who share my wordiness, I hope these three simple techniques will help you tighten your manuscript—and make your publisher very happy.

Do you have tips or tricks for lowering your word count? If so, please share!