I was recently at the Sleuthfest conference in St. Petersburg, Florida, and I was on a panel where we discussed tips for writing better dialogue. I approached part of the panel as an author and the rest as an editor. Here are some tips for those who were unable to attend.
Avoid echoes. This doesn’t only mean repeated words, but it can also mean repeated like-sounding words (which can be difficult for narrators to navigate when they’re recording your audiobook.) If I see the same word in the same paragraph (assuming a short paragraph), I’m going to indicate it as an issue in Track Changes—unless the repeat is attributable to stylistic choices. If I see a really unusual word (say “patricide” or “ubiquitous”), I’m going to advise using it only once in a story or book because such words stand out, and readers remember.
Dialogue tags. This is one of my bugaboos. When you use every dialogue-related verb in the book rather than “said” or “asked,” it takes readers out of the story. Occasionally, it’s okay. It’s also sometimes acceptable to use an adverb (“He said, sheepishly”) if the dialogue doesn’t adequately convey the meaning. But the goal is to find dialogue that does convey the meaning, and also to trust your reader.
Try to eliminate dialogue tags whenever possible by having the speaker take action immediately before or afterwards. Instead of “I don’t really like it done that way,” Gerald sniffed. (which doesn’t work anyway, because people cannot “sniff” language), change to Gerald sniffed. “I don’t really like it done that way.” In this example, you’ve incorporated action, eliminated a tag, and indicated who’s speaking, all at once.
Likewise, in a scene where only two people are speaking, you can eliminate many of the tags (but probably not all, because readers can get tripped up). Having one character address the other by name also helps to eliminate the need for tags.
Too much dialect. You can always mention that the character speaks with a Southern accent, but having them finish every sentence with “Y’all” can get annoying for readers. Likewise, avoid ending every word by substituting an apostrophe for a “g,” like “I’m goin’ to do some fishin’.”
This is one many people have trouble with: having every character sound alike. Shake it up. Give your characters traits (sarcasm, catastrophizing, optimistic, etc.) and make their dialogue reflect that trait so readers can instantly identify them. Perhaps give one character a unique expression he likes to repeat, or a tic of some sort like a stutter or a tendency to stumble over words. Maybe make a speaker sound stilted on purpose, as characterization.
To avoid stilted-sounding dialogue, read it aloud. Act it out with a friend. Or have friends read it aloud, as if doing a read-through for a play. If none of that is possible, have the computer read it back to you. (In Word, that’s “Read Aloud” under the Review tab in the Menu.) If something doesn’t sound natural, rewrite it. You’ll be amazed by what comes out when you hear your story read out loud instead of just in your head.
Another way of making dialogue in your story sound natural is to include contractions. Most people don’t say “I am” when they can say “I’m” unless you are writing an overly formal character, in which case, the lack of contractions, as indicated above, adds to characterization.
Make sure you don’t have characters telling each other things they already know for the sake of the audience. This is commonly known as infodump. Conveying a plot point as conversation instead of a monologue helps. Example:
Instead of writing: “Remember May 15, when we went out for your 35th birthday and your brother Samuel came too?” which sounds both stilted and “infodumpy,” you could turn it into an interchange:
“Remember your birthday last year?” asked Samantha.
“Yeah, The big 35. How could I forget it?” said Grace.
“It was so cool seeing Samuel there.”
“My brother does choose his times to reconnect, that’s for sure.”
This way, you can add info too—and unless the 15th is significant in some way, you can leave it out.
Another question we were asked on the panel was how to propel the plot forward through language without sounding artificial. Here are some ideas:
Turn some of the details into narrative, like having a character read a note that conveys information.
Usually having a sounding board character helps…best friend, therapist, etc. They can split up the dialogue.
Consider internal dialogue, especially when a character is questioning things or having an epiphany.
If you can add humor or banter (as long as the genre and subject matter permit), it helps keep things lighter and as long as it’s not irreverent, it can make dialogue sound more realistic.
Dawn Barclay
Dawn offers developmental and copy editing through SuggestedDevelopment.com, and ghostwrites personal histories and corporate profiles through LegacyQuest.net. A member of ITW, she has served as president of Hudson Valley Scribes, vice president of Sisters in Crime-NY/TriState, and the newsletter author/board member of the NY chapter of Mystery Writers of America. Follow her at www.dmbarr.com.
Thank you, Dawn. We’ve been talking a lot about dialogue tags in class and I’ll use this.
Glad if it can help 🙂
Very useful! What comes hardest to me is making sure my characters don’t sound alike. I have to work really hard to get into each head as I write, and put on that persona. Another thing I noticed with myself and others is giving characters frames of reference they wouldn’t normally have, just because they are your frames of reference. I was at a trivia night last night, and 75% of the millennial and Gen-Z participants couldn’t answer “What trio put out the Ill Communications album in 1994”. I was saddened, but it was a lesson. My millennial characters aren’t going to know this either.
Lots of good tips here, Dawn. Thanks for sharing.
Great advice, Dawn! What you wrote about dialect also applies to dialogue in historical fiction. Part of the challenge is making characters sound true to their time without slowing down—or annoying—the reader with archaic language. My rule of thumb has been to use fewer contractions in dialogue to suggest a more formal era and to toss in just a handful of juicy 18th century phrases. (Enlightenment-era curses and insults are so much more fun than ours.) I trust the reader’s imagination to take those small changes and imagine themselves back in time with my characters.
I like your ‘trust the reader’ tip. Especially when using dialect. Just a few times will do it.
Great advice! Appreciate the concrete tips on how to execute!
Such great points, Dawn. You really gave your audience a lot of great advice and things to consider.
And I have to add: I have eight books in print and I didn’t know that Word would read it to me!
This is excellent advice! I trip on stilted dialogue and not being sure who is talking
So helpful, Dawn. One thought: the dialogue tag “said” is sometimes necessary when more than two people are in a conversation. The main point is to clarify for the reader.
Great advice, Dawn. I’ve found that action in place of dialogue tags can be difficult to manage but also a path to explicating character. My dancer protag can’t sit still while she’s thinking. Another character reaches for a book. Someone else will sit, unmoving, while she works through a problem. My biggest challenge is keeping track of all that movement!