Miss Demeanors

 Summer and travel make me think of car trips. When I was growing up all of our travel was in a car. My sister and I jousted for position in the backseat. In the era of enormous cars and no seat belts we divided the space either down the middle or floor versus seat. I remember the comfort of a nearly hot floor on a long trip, the purr of the engine, and the sense of traveling inside a cocoon. Thankfully, I was never car sick and could read and read and read. As an adult, I have driven across the entire country from west to east and then east to west. Each time I was passenger-less in a very large truck (once transporting advance items, another time items the moving company wouldn’t take – mainly plants – and the other time our books). Each experience was just that, a unique chance to see the open countryside, the changing landscape, the distant storms. (There was also the fear of being picked up by a tornado…..of backing into a pole while reversing….) Twice I had a ‘chase’ car which gave us the freedom to park the big truck and explore towns and cities along the way. As the miles progressed we threw an assortment of things into the back of the truck – antiques globes from Arkansas, grass floor cloths from Arizona, and many other items we clearly couldn’t live without. This recent 4th of July weekend my husband and I drove a few hours south to North Carolina. We took back roads and enjoyed the scenery, stopping in small towns for lunch and to visit tiny local museums (the Pearl Harbor exhibit in the county museum in Martinsville was particularly good). Today I’m alone in the car, driving to my parents for my mother’s birthday. It will work out to be about a 10-hour trip including a short stop in my old stomping ground of Lexington, Kentucky. Driving alone means audio books, so I confess I’m looking forward to it. On a recent trip, I complained about the drive right up until the moment I arrived and had fifteen minutes left on the audio version of Hank Phillippe Ryan’s What You See. I sat in the car until it was over. (Thanks Hank for the hours of entertainment!) What are your favorite driving trip memories?    

 Happy Fourth of July! I was thinking about books that celebrate the nation’s founding and its early history. I got my start with Johnny Tremaine, a classic children’s book set in Boston prior to the outbreak of the American Revolution. Centering around growing tension between Patriots and Loyalists the book describes the Boston Tea Party, British blockades, the midnight ride of Paul Revere and the Battles of Lexington and Concorde. Since then, I have read many books that touched upon those important years in the nation’s history. Some focus on specific historical figures – Stephanie Dray’s America’s First Daughter, Gore Vidal’s Burr. Others create an atmosphere in and around the era including several books by Jeff Shaara and even one of Diana Gabaldon’s (The Fiery Cross). Bernard Cornwell made the revolutionary war the centerpiece of two of his novels beginning with Redcoat, which focuses on winter at Valley Forge. On his website, Cornwell says he was historically accurate but took some heat for use of the “f” word, noting that the word was part of historical accuracy. Some years later he added The Fort to his revolutionary collection. Anyone reading for the holiday today? Any 4th of July favorites?

I’ve thought a lot about my journey this week. This brought to mind “Inside The Actor’s Studio,” an interview show before an audience of performing arts students about the journeys of well-known entertainers of stage & screen, including actors, directors, screenwriters and composers. It being Friday and all, I thought it would be fun for the Miss Demeanors to close out the week with a standard question that show-host James Lipton asks his guests to lighten the mood after grilling them about their struggles and salad days: What’s your favorite curse word? Robin: Mine, which I’m trying not to use in the YA I’m currently working on, is “f–k.” One of my best friends is also a fan of this word and she collects memorabilia for what she calls her “F–k Wall” (which is hysterical in and of itself). Last time I was in NYC I got her a T-Shirt that says “F–k You, You F–king F–k.” She now has it framed above her desk in a place of honor on the F–k Wall.  Cate: I have young kids, so I try not to swear in real life. I say a lot of “geez Louises” and “oh dear Lords.” However, the characters in my fiction are often in situations where an epithet or two is called for. My favorite is the B-word, because it is used to denigrate and intimidate women–I often have female characters that have to get over some form of intimidation–and, also, as a term of endearment among female friends. “What’s up biotch?” Susan: I think I must be a vicarious curser because I’m friendly with a lot of people who swear all the time, but I don’t really do it myself. I was teaching a class a few weeks ago and said, “WTF” and everyone looked at me as though I’d sprouted a new head. It was sort of empowering. Perhaps I’ll start, now that I’m a Miss Demeanor. Paula: I never cursed until I got my first job as a business reporter, the only woman on an all-male staff. I was young and naive and the guys gave me a hard time until I learned to do the two things they insisted all “real” reporters did: drink black coffee and swear. I mastered both in record time. As for a favorite swear word: Dipshit, a colorful expression I picked up from my father aka The Colonel. In our family that is quite the put-down. Tracee: Is dipshit a swear word? (Sorry Paula!) I try to swear only in private and therefore won’t give you my favorites but they would make a sailor’s skin crawl (it really does feel good). In the South when a woman of a certain age says “bless his/her heart” that basically means they are damned to the lowest circle of hell, thus proving that it isn’t the actual words but the meaning. Alexia: Some years ago, during an interview on IFC’s The Actor’s Studio, the host asked the brilliant actor, Nathan Lane, what his favorite swear word was. “F**k. Or a**hole. If you can call someone a f**king a**hole, you know it’s a great day.” Those have been my favorite swear words since then. You can get away with “bless your heart” in public because so few know what you really mean. I also like to use British/Irish swear words, like “bloody” and “bollocks”, for the same reason. They don’t sound so bad over here. My publisher frowns on excessive profanity but I manage to get away with “shite” in my novels. Pronounced with a long i, it has a certain charm. Michele: Since I’m in Dublin right now, I’ll have to say the word “feck” is simply a delightful way to say the f-word. But if you want to know the swear that I’ve found the most versatile, it’s a word my late ex-husband and his friends on the police department invoked frequently. “Mother-f***er” with a simply twist on inflection can sound like a lament (Ah, mother-f***er, my tire is flat; a question (Mother-f***er? What happened to my tire?, as in WTF); or as an indictment (You mother-f***ker, you let the air out of my tire! as in “You bastard, you let the air out of my tire). Then there are the variations in accents. Of course, Boston sounds like Mothah-f***kah, but New York, New Jersey, and deep Southern variations are delicious too.I try to limit my use of the word to when I am driving alone in traffic jams in Boston. Alexia: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/helen-mirren-wishes-she-told-people-to-f-off-more_us_5600076ae4b0fde8b0cee0fc. If it’s good enough for Helen Mirren…  Paula: Ha! Love her! Robin: Happy Friday!  

In the aftermath of back-to-back global cyber attacks like WannaCry and Petya writers (among others) should be more concerned than ever about protecting their data. In this case, I’m talking about your books and works in progress.Ransomware is a type of malicious software (“malware”) that locks up your files until you pay an attacker for a code to unlock them. WannaCry is an example of this. This week, we saw the Petya malware disguise itself as ransomware but it’s more insidious. It permanently locks up the entire hard drive. In spite of the fact that many people paid the attackers, the “unlock code” doesn’t work. This is called a “wiper” because what it actually does is block the computer from booting properly ever again, effectively wiping the contents irretrievably. Writers work on computers. So should you worry? Yes and no. Yes, because malware is constantly evolving. While WannaCry and Petya target Windows, there are similar attacks ongoing against Macs and it’s only going to get worse. One way or another, your computer is at risk. No, because there are precautions you can take. First and foremost, back up your work early and often. I’m obsessive about this. I not only back up my full disk, I save my books and WIPs to no fewer than 3 thumb drives (also known as USB flash drives or jump drives). I’ve been around technology long enough to see all kinds of hardware failures, including thumb drives that went through the wash when I forgot I was carrying one in a pocket. Thumb drives are cheap – as little as $6. It’s a simple investment for peace of mind. Wait, I hear you ask, what about Google Drive, Dropbox or other “cloud” methods to store and backup? These are options but I don’t like relying on someone else to keep my work safe. Things may happen that are beyond my control (did I mention I’m a control freak when it comes to technology?). So, yes, cloud storage is an option but not one of my personal favorites. Second, keep your computer up to date. The easiest way to do this is to enable automatic updates. Both Microsoft and Apple issue regular and emergency updates as the threat landscape requires. Limit your risk by keeping current. Finally, and I’m talking to you Mac users, install anti-malware. Windows users have known this one for years. There’s a pervasive misunderstanding that Macs are immune to malware. This isn’t now nor has it ever been true. In fact, my first computer was a Mac. The first computer virus I saw was also on a Mac, 20 years ago. What is true is Macs were less interesting to bad guys for a long time but not anymore. Over the last 5 years, attacks against Macs have grown exponentially as the popularity of Apple products has increased. The good news is there are more options now to protect Macs for free. Products like Sophos and Malwarebytes are a couple of my favorites. Let’s all stay safe out there.              

Every one of the Miss Demeanors started our respective journeys the exact same way. We each aspired to be writers. After taking the first steps, each of our paths diverged. That’s how it works. We all have our own paths as human beings. Mine has been particularly non-linear which has been awesome. Literally. I’m sometimes stunned when I step back and look at things I’ve accomplished while my attention was focused on the little twists and turns. I’ve been through a few career reinventions. The path I’m on now is, arguably, the direction I’ve been headed all along. And I get to carry with me the alchemy of experiences that shaped my successes in the past which helps me recreate the magic, over and over. Seems to be working out so far so I thought I’d share a few of the things I’ve learned along the way: 1. Do the work. There is no shortcut. You write. You read. You attend workshops, conferences and bootcamps. You keep writing. You join – and participate in – local chapters of national organizations tailored to your genre (Mystery Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, Sisters In Crime, etc.). You write some more. Strive to master the craft and prove it. There is no substitute. 2. Find mentors and listen to them. One of the first things I do when I chart a new course is study those who have gone before me. This leads me to level-set my expectations and identify people who are generous with their time. Every industry has its pack. Writers often refer to it as “finding our tribe.” Learning about the people whose careers I’d like to emulate uncovers their peers and partners. I seek out opportunities to mix and mingle with these people, ask questions and listen to the answers. If someone is willing to teach I prove myself as an enthusiastic pupil. Then I go back to Step 1. 3. Give back. Participate. Share. Be as generous with your time as your mentors are with theirs. If you’re packing the heat of Steps 1 & 2, don’t worry about making mistakes. Count on them. Embrace opportunities. Jump in to help others in whatever way you can: volunteering at conferences and book festivals, sharing expertise, etc.. Helping to pull off an event creates camaraderie. The world is small and memories are long. 4. Celebrate others as you would have them celebrate you. We all know this one as the “Golden Rule.” Be the type of person you’d like to have in your corner when you reach your milestones. Play nice and you’ll find your cheering section full when it’s your turn. 5. Never stop learning. Art is subjective which means tastes, styles and market forces are subject to cultural influence. This means studying, well, everything. Particularly those tastes, styles and market forcesthat drive your genre. I’m not suggesting you pander. I’m suggesting you keep writing, keep reading, keep going to conferences and writing organization chapter events. If you’re really adventurous, stretch yourself. If you write novels, write a short story or two. If you write short stories, write a novel. Experiment. Then go back to Step 1.  

 We have official swag! Or schwag, as it’s sometimes called. We’ve all been to conferences where authors give away book marks, pens and other promotional items. So what does a crazy group of mystery, cozy and thriller authors offer? A webcam cover, of course! I know, it’s not the first giveaway item anyone would think of. But we all work on laptops and often read on tablets, right? Every laptop and tablet made in the last 10 years has a camera built in. And there’s a significant amount malicious software, aka malware, that turns those cameras on to snap photos, record video or live stream using your camera. Years ago, the cameras on laptops had indicator lights that would be your only clue that the camera was on. Not so, anymore. Now you can be watched or recorded without ever knowing it. Enter the Miss Demeanors webcam cover!
 You simply slide the cover closed when you’re not using the camera and, voila, no one gets to watch you unless you want to be watched. There’s another use for these that’s not as widely known. I travel a lot. Every hotel I’ve stayed in has a peephole in the door. I won’t tell you how to do it but there are easy ways to use a peephole to look inside a hotel room. Webcam covers make really good peephole covers. They’re easy to stick on over a peephole and just as easy to remove before you check out. Want your very own Miss Demeanors swag? Next time you see one of us at a conference or a signing you’ll probably see us giving these away. And one of us, I’m not saying who, has a penchant for tucking these into the shelves at book stores 🙂
 Drop us a note in the comments below to enter a drawing to win your very own official Miss Demeanors swag!