An Artist’s Date: Vallarta Botanical Garden

    Let me take you on what Julia Cameron, queen of creative inspiration, calls an Artist’s Date. The last time I took you for one, we twirled around Italy, the ultimate artist’s date. Today, we’ll visit the Vallarta Botanical Garden in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where I am spending eight glorious weeks writing, reading, and eating and drinking. More on the eating and drinking another day, but let’s leave it for now that I am never hungry here.              Just to remind you, an Artist’s Date is an excursion, preferably solo, to a destination intended to expand your creative resources. They are intentional and sometimes self-indulgent, but never to be suffered with guilt. You might meander through a yarn shop, even if you have never picked up a knitting needle in your life, just to absorb the colors and textures around you. The goal is to fill the creative well within you.My well has been running a little dry lately. I have been writing a book for over a year. It’s a stand-alone mystery that I have struggled with, even though I love the story and my protagonist.  I may be guilty of overthinking this book and exaggerating the onerous duty I feel toward Olivia Rose, whose story I am telling. I arrived in Puerto Vallarta committed to finishing this book, but not quite sure how I would do it.          The day I chose to go to the botanical garden, I chided myself for doing something frivolous when I had serious writing to do. I’d planned to visit the Vallarta Botanical Garden even before I arrived, but thought it would be a reward for hard work done when writing goals were accomplished. But my traveling companions had other ideas, so off I went within days of arriving in Vallarta.           We rode a city bus for forty-five minutes up hillsides past a wild Pacific Ocean that seemed to be having a temper tantrum. I listened to passengers converse in Spanish, French, and English. The hillside was green and lush, the roadsides sprinkled with trash. Mexico, like most countries including my own, is filled with contradictions.          Nothing I had read prepared me for the exotic beauty I found inside the garden, which I quickly gave myself permission to enjoy. Trails leading down to a river, an orchid house spilling with tropical colors and shapes, a small chapel for solitude. More trails up a hillside, one named “Vanilla.” Fountains and bridges leading from one garden room to another. Bees having a party inside a blossom, while birds sang joyfully everywhere.           My ears were filled with birdsong. My eyes weren’t sure if the superabundance of beauty they were seeing could be real. The smell of green was everywhere, while a pleasant warm but not hot sun warmed my shoulders.            This is a generous garden I was surprised to learn was created only recently. Benches are placed throughout the acreage, often in shade, inviting strollers to sit for a moment and simply ingest the beauty surrounding them. There are statues and art throughout. I was drawn to the huge conservatory because I have a fascination for conservatories and because I have given Olivia Rose one in her story. This one had more plants than I’d ever imagined could fit in one. The light was magical. I wished Olivia Rose could see it.           Even the inevitable gift shop and restaurant were thoughtfully designed. Hummingbird feeders perched on railings surrounding the porch where diners sit within inches of the tiny birds dancing around them. The gift shop has a separate area with cushioned chairs looking out through open windows at bird feeders. Brilliantly colored birds took turns performing.            The day ended on a comical note when a large bulldog, owned by the garden ticket-taker, chased an empty water container larger than him rolling down a hill until he conquered and captured it. It was an inspiration for tenacity.            By the end of the afternoon my senses were so full, I was exhausted. But I was also exhilarated in a way that happens only when I get out of my head and into nature. I was tired, grateful that I had gone on an artist’s date, and ready to write.

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Reader Seeks Unattached Book

 My local library is hosting “Blind Date with a Book” in honor of Valentine’s Day. The librarians put books inside gift bags so readers can’t see the title. (I’ve seen other libraries gift wrap the books.) They write a brief, cryptic description on the outside of the bag; readers choose a mystery book based on the description. I decided to try my luck and selected a bag based on the description: “Cambridge, Warm Beer and Hot Jazz, Jewelry Theft, Art Forgery”. The book inside turned out to be The Grantchester Mysteries: Sidney Chambers and the Shadow of Death.Instead of asking the Missdemeanors a question this week, I gave them a challenge: Set up a book for a blind date–write a personals ad. Think of literary Tinder or eHarmony or old-school newspaper Lonely Hearts column. Can you guess the books from the descriptions? (No peeking at the answers, listed at the end of the post) TraceeMan wishes to meet woman who will ignore the recent brutal murder of his wife. Would prefer gal with house in decent neighborhood, but is willing to fund cheap hotels. Young daughter part of the deal, but she’s quiet and will give up riding shotgun and take the backseat. Must love tattoos, have no side deals with current prison inmates, and know how to follow life-and-death orders without question.BTW….. this is an amazing book.  SusanForty-two year-old Englishman looking for gentle companion to be his second wife. Offers a beautiful mansion in Cornwall, called Manderley. No need to worry about housekeeping, which is handled by a very capable woman. Prefers that candidate not like boating.  MicheleFormer television meteorologist who no longer wears make-up, no family to drag you to on Christmas, really it was an accident with my husband,  great relationship with my dog, seeks middle age guy who likes booze, islands, asks no questions, tells no lies, and doesn’t squirm when an occasional body shows up.  RobinSingle white male seeks companion for dinner. Likes: Italian wine, stimulating conversation. Dislikes: boredom. Fascinate me with your story and I’ll tell you anything.  CateSexy, 30s, homebody seeks same for candlelight dinners in. Must love red wine and cuddling up to old movies. Ability to play chess a plus. Handiness a definite plus. Ability to spend hours–weeks, years even–indoors an absolute plus.) AlisonTall, rugged self-starter seeking companionship in Wyoming. No strings attached. Wanderlust and love of coffee a plus. Please bring your own toothbrush. AlexiaSeeking companion to attend gathering on private island. Join eight other guests for food, drink, swimming. Housekeeping services available. Must enjoy gramophone recordings, poetry, and solving riddles. Weather may be inclement. Plan accordingly.  Choose your date. Guess the title. Tell us in the comments or over on Facebook. Answers listed below.  Tracee: She Rides Shotgun by Jordan HarperSusan: Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurierMichele: No Virgin Island by Michele DorseyRobin: Silence of The Lambs by Thomas HarrisCate: The Woman In The Window by A.J. FinnAlison: The Midnight Line by Lee ChildAlexia: And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie    

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And the Winner is…

 Welcome to awards season! The Golden Globes, the NAACP Image Awards, the BAFTA Awards, the SAG Awards, The Academy Awards… Rotten Tomatoes lists about forty-one awards shows between September 2017 and March 2018. All focused on film and TV. Books win awards, too. Everyone’s heard of the Pulitzer Prize, the Nobel Prize, the Man Booker Prize, the National Book Award. These well-known literary prizes represent only a few of the accolades awarded to outstanding examples of writing. Many less well-known (although no less impressive) awards focus on particular genres. The Nebulas and Hugos honor achievements in science fiction in fantasy, The Edgars do the same for mysteries, and the RITA honors romance. As a mystery author, I pay the most attention to awards given to crime fiction: The Agatha, the Thriller, the Barry, the Lefty, the Dagger, the Anthony, the Nero, the Macavity…I’d be here until next award season if I listed them all. Crime fiction prizes are generally awarded at banquets, often in conjunction with conferences. The Agatha is presented as part of Malice Domestic, The Lefty is awarded at Left Coast Crime, the Anthony at Bouchercon, the Thriller at Thrillerfest. The conferences give readers a chance to meet authors, authors a chance to meet readers, authors and others in the publishing industry a chance to network (usually at a cocktail party or the hotel bar), and everyone a chance to attend panels, lectures, and workshops. Awards/conference season is a mixture of excited anticipation and crime (fiction)-filled fun. It presents a few challenges, however. Who to nominate for an award and who to vote for (for those awards where the nominees and winners are chosen by readers and/or conference attendees) and which conferences and banquets to go to. Which to attend is especially challenging. If you had the time to do nothing but travel and unlimited funds, you could be on the road constantly from March through July. You have to pick and choose. Do you plan your travel based on who’s up for an award, who’s speaking, location, timing, or a combination of factors? What conferences do you attend? How do you choose?

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Member of the Club

 Confession: I don’t belong to a book club. I’ve never belonged to one. Book clubs have become a popular way for readers to connect, to come together around a shared interest for a mutual purpose—book discussion. Club members spend time talking, learning, and socializing. Book clubs are everywhere—libraries, churches, bookstores, private homes, online. They form around specific genres, specific authors, specific age groups. Although the basic idea is the same—read and discuss a book—each group is as unique as its members. In some groups, members vote on what to read next, in others, members take turns choosing. In some, the topic is chosen by the group’s host or the place, such as a library or a bookstore, sponsoring the club. Some chose books based on the season, such as those focused on the church calendar. Some groups are fluid; members come and go. Some groups have a fixed membership roster and long-term members who attend book club as faithfully as my parents’ generation attended bridge club. Some groups, like cookbook-themed clubs, offer recipes for members to prepare beforehand and sample at the meetings. Some groups ask authors questions before the meetings and make the answers part of the discussion. Some groups invite authors to speak. Some publishers, like mine, Henery Press, offer discussion questions for their books. Some books include discussion questions in an appendix. Book clubs even appear in books, movies, and TV shows. There are several book club-themed cozies. One of my favorite episodes of “Midsomer Murders” centers around a murder at a book club. So why don’t I join one? Because, to me, reading has always been a private affair. Unsociable by nature (extremely introverted INTJ), I’ve never been a joiner. Books have always provided an important source of solitude, an escape from the world around me. I can spend hours alone at a bookstore or library, wandering the aisles, searching for a volume in which to lose myself. Book in hand, I retreat to a cozy seat, preferably in a favorite café or pub with something delicious to eat and drink, and disappear into the world on the page. I don’t want to talk about books, I want to inhabit them, experience their stories, then savor those experiences internally. How about you? Book club member or solitary reader? If you’re in a club (or two or four), what genres or authors do they focus on? What types of questions or issues does your group discuss? What foods pair well with book club? Comment on the blog or join the discussion over on Facebook. 

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Winter Storm

 Winter’s got me in a slump. Short days, long nights. Subzero temperatures. Ice storms that shut down cities. Layers and layers, so many layers, of clothing. Enough, already. Bring on Spring.
Writing’s tough for me when I’ve got the winter doldrums. My brain wants to hibernate from November through mid-March, not devise intricate plots and perilous situations for my characters to overcome. Winter is my antagonist.
Which makes me think—can the season or the weather act as a character in a story? I answer my own question—sure. Person versus nature is as classic a battle as person versus person or person versus self. In Murder on the Orient Express, winter weather stops the train. Snow is as much the bad guy as the killer. Snow makes another appearance as an opposing force in J. Jefferson Farjeon’s Mystery in White. The title of Julia Spencer-Fleming’s In the Bleak Midwinter leaves no doubt the season plays a role in the plot. Peter Hoeg’s Smila’s Sense of Snow hinges on the protagonist’s knowledge of the frigid stuff.
Writing this, I notice novels featuring winter-as-opposing-force come to mind more readily than novels where spring, summer, or fall weather drive the plot. Probably because, to me, weather is the most malevolent of all seasons. But I can imagine situations where a spring thunderstorm or summer drought might figure as integral parts of a story. Fall’s harder. A body in a leaf pile, maybe? What are some other stories where the weather is the star?  Comment here or start a discussion on Facebook.
 

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Better Left Unsaid

I follow several writers, some published, some unpublished, on social media. Many post news of book deals, tweet about signing with agents, and ‘gram photos of awards. Friends and followers like, “heart”, and share the good news over social networks. Some writers also share their disappointments. A series is canceled, a manuscript doesn’t sell, an agent query is rejected. Friends and followers virtually gather ‘round to show support, offer encouragement, and share advice. Fortunately, most writers limit themselves to these common uses of social media. However, a few writers take up their smartphones, not to seek congratulations or commiseration, but to excoriate those they blame for, in their view, thwarting their literary ambitions. You’ve read their posts: the “stupid” publishers don’t understand them, the “opportunistic” agents pass up the Great American Novel because it’s not marketable, the “idiot” editors insist grammar matters, the readers who leave negative reviews are—you fill in the epithet. These writers do not take rejection well. As they see it, their manuscript is perfect; everyone else is wrong. The “story” is the only thing that matters (they sneer at punctuation and spelling) and anyone who doesn’t agree their novel is brilliant enough to warrant the expenditure of 300,000 words is a “moron”. Or worse. Advice, or anything other than wholehearted endorsement of their vitriolic screeds by friends and followers is treated to the same burn as the offending agent (or editor or publisher) and to the ultimate social media act of retribution—a block. Please don’t be that writer. Nobody enjoys rejection. No one expects anyone to be happy about rejection. But letting the whole world (and posting to social media is akin to letting the whole world know, regardless of your privacy settings) is not the way to handle it. Rant and rage if you must but do it in the privacy of your home or car or broom closet. Make sure no one but the cat/dog/goldfish can hear you. They won’t talk; humans will. Pin the rejection letter to a cork board and throw darts at it. Stick any leftover pins in a voodoo doll with the agent’s name scrawled on it in blood. But don’t snap photos to post to Instagram. Keep your anger to yourself. Agents, editors, and publishers are on social media, too. They’re the original networkers. They networked before it was cool. You may not follow any of their accounts but at least one of your followers does. And publishing people follow each other. You know that caustic email you sent to agent X informing them how dense they must be not to recognize your genius? Well, agent X just tweeted a screenshot of your email to the Twitterverse, which includes agents A through W and Y and Z. You just been branded “difficult”. You’ve just been branded a lot of other things that aren’t repeatable in polite society. Think anyone’s going to represent you now? Nope. You think agents are morons; agents think you’re a toxic jerk. Editors and publishers agree with the agents. The same goes for your foaming at the mouth social media posts. A screenshot of a flame goes viral. Consider yourself quarantined. No one will come near you. They’d rather have measles. Are you really surprised people in the publishing business (business, not hobby, not charity) want a manuscript that’s marketable? As one writing instructor put it, agents live on commission and need to earn enough to pay rent in New York. Editors and publishers have to pay rent, too. And maybe at least one or two of them has a point. Maybe your novel really isn’t a good fit for them. Try someone else. Maybe your novel isn’t as perfect as you think. Even manuscripts that are sold need editing. Maybe no one appreciates your story because it’s harder to decipher than a teenager’s emoji-laden Instagram caption. Maybe you should listen when they say your 300,000 word thriller stopped being thrilling at 120K. Maybe you can look past your hurt and find the nugget of good advice buried in the “no”. If you can’t resist firebombing bridges and insist on refusing all advice? Self-publish. 

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Timing is Everything.

My next book, A Well-Timed Murder, is about the Swiss watch industry. In it, Agnes Lüthi investigates the murder of a prominent watchmaker, Guy Chavanon. Agnes quickly learns that despite the industry’s reputation, nothing about the man’s death seems precise. Ultimately, timing will be the key to law enforcement, and possibly to love as Agnes races to stop the killer before he strikes again. While writing A Well-Timed Murder I dove head first into the watch industry. Today, with a ‘watch’ on every smart phone and inexpensive wristwatches that keep accurate time, we don’t give much thought to how time controls our life. For thousands of years, time related to the rise and fall of the sun. The Egyptians divided the day into two 12-hour period and used obelisks to track the sun’s progress. In the early 14th century mechanical clocks yielded more precision. As the century progressed, watches (as jewelry) developed as novelties for the wealthy elite. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries pioneering pilots strapped timepieces to their wrists so they could keep track of fuel usage. At the same time, the British army required greater coordination and timing among the troops. Clearly the need for practical and precise wristwatches had arrived. Fast forward to today and every person with a smart phone can mark time to hundredths of a second. Time is now everything.   Watches are appreciated for their beauty and collectability. Every minute of our day is accounted for (and in some industries billed-for). We have greater accuracy but, perhaps, that’s not always a good thing? I wonder how people mark their days now. Through constant checking of the computer clock, their iPhone, or an antique Patek Philippe? And does the constant realization that minutes are slipping past help or hurt us? I have days where time seems to stand still. Those are the days I want to capture. That’s the kind of timing that means everything.

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Non-fiction anyone?

 Many who write fiction turn to non-fiction as resource and reference. Others read non-fiction while working on their own fiction. A palate cleanser? A way to focus on your own voice without being swayed into that of another author?  Both, probably. While at university I studied history along with architecture and maintain an interest in history and biography. A few books make their way from my husband’s nightstand to mine – he comes from a European perspective, heavily tinged with architecture. Some recent favorites: If Venice Dies, by Salvatore Settis. We have lived in Venice a few times and it remains one of our favorite cities. Settis delves into the history and future of the city, contextualizing both in terms of tourism, which has been a constant in la Serenissima’s evolution. Soviet Space Dogs, by Olesya Turkina. We always have pairs of Jack Russell Terriers. The boys are named for Pritzker prize winning architects (Alvaro and Rem so far) while the girls have Russian names (Sabatchka and Laika). This book was a gift from my nieces in honor of Laika, the first dog sent into space. Unfortunately, the ending is too sad so we’ve never read that far. But otherwise a lovely tribute to her sacrifice for science. At the Strangers’ Gate by Adam Gopnik. We had the great pleasure to hear Gopnik speak a few years ago. Most entertaining! My husband, in particular, enjoyed this book since he was also in New York City in the 1980s. Gopnik adds complexity to any story but his ability to insert his experiences into the issues of the city is remarkable.    I’ve had a food and restaurant obsession recently (technically related to book research) and have greatly enjoyed Sous Chef by Michael Gibney, anything and everything by Anthony Bourdain (starting with Kitchen Confidential). Add to that anything written by Ruth Reichl, Gourmet’s editor-in-chief and former restaurant critic for the New York Times. Also on the research front, I have enjoyed Longitude: The True Story of a Lone Genius Who Solved the Greatest Scientific Problem of His Time, written by Dava Sobel. This slim volume lives up to the title in marvelous story-telling fashion. Next on my plate are a few biographies: Ron Chernow’s Hamilton and Leonardo Da Vinci by Walter Isaacson. What are your non-fiction favorites? 

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What are you watching?

Holidays are over, winter us upon us, along with Hollywood awards season. What are you watching? To me, part of enjoying a movie is seeing it with the right person (and that may mean alone). Recently I saw The Greatest Showman with my parents, knowing they would enjoy the musical aspect. My husband is not on the musical movies guest list – ever since during the opening scene of Les Miserables he whispered, Are they going to keep singing? Graciously, I let him leave.  Last week I saw All the Money in the World, which was supposed to be a short writing break one afternoon. Instead, I spent too much time online, obsessively looking up details about the Getty family, trying to separate movie fact from fiction. What I learned – they’ve learned how to live privately. Good for them! (Favorite part of that movie – seeing Christopher Plummer. And the part where Getty shows his model for the Getty Villa in Malibu. This is an amazing place, even more so after the renovation.) I have plans to see The Post (which has strangely been absent from my local theater) and Molly’s Game (I love Jessica Chastain). Twice (TWICE!) my husband and I went to the theater to see The Darkest Hour. The first time it was the day before it came out (small online calendars can be tricky); second time, the theater was so full there were only two seats left, right under the screen. We declined. Still haven’t seen it. What movies have you seen? New favorites, old ones? PAULA: When I need a break from the book world, I watch movies and visit museums. With all the family complications this new year has brought, both good and bad, I won’t be visiting any museums any time soon, so I’m counting on Netflix to get me through. Starting with the second season of The Crown.  TRACEE: We have to add television to the list. So many good shows, there’s no reason to leave the house in the dark of winter. ALISON: The Crown was so wonderful. I think I went through a period of mourning when I finished it. ROBIN:  I went through that feeling of loss after binge-watching Mind Hunter. I’ve heard enough good things about The Crown that it’s in my queue now. CATE: I don’t have any movie plans, unfortunately. Though I watched Hidden Figures on a plane recently and cried tears of joy and frustration for the duration, annoying the person flying next to me (who was, fortunately, my husband and so didn’t request a seat change).   ROBIN:  Friends of mine throw a great Oscar party so I’ve been seeing movies I suspect will be nominated. I LOVED Get Out. If you haven’t seen it, drop everything and do it now. Jordan Peele is a genius. By the time this blog is posted I’ll have seen The Post. I just saw Darkest Hour and Gary Oldman is phenomenal. Aside from the Oscar buzz, I’ve worked with a couple of Getty wives in the past and was really curious about the fast-switch between Kevin Spacey and Christopher Plummer so I saw All The Money In The World the weekend it opened. There’s only one scene where you can tell it was shot after the fact and I’m not going to ruin it for anyone by telling you which scene. Molly’s Game is on my to-be-seen list – I love Jessica Chastain, too. ALEXIA: I can’t remember the last movie I saw in a theater. I know I saw Star Wars:The Force Awakens,  Fences, and Hidden Figures but I don’t think I’ve been since then. A combination of expense, inconvenience, movies leaving before I realize they were even out (didn’t movies used to stay in theaters longer before Netflix and RedBox?), and not making time to take care of myself. I prefer to see movies alone. I don’t enjoy a movie unless I can lose myself in the story and I find other people distracting. (Why do people always seem to want to chat during the show?) One of my 2018 goals is to make me a priority. That includes making time for first run films on the big screen. I have a movie wish list: Black Panther, Star Wars, Lady Bird, Murder on the Orient Express, The Greatest Showman, Molly’s Game, All the Money in the World, The Shape of Water, The Post, Roman J. Israel, Esq.  TRACEE: We would make good movie partners. I have no desire to talk and have a “two people watching alone” attitude toward movies in a theater. There’s plenty of time to discuss afterward. Anything on television you’re watching? ALEXIA: My Netflix queue is so long, there’s no way I’ll make it to the end before I did if I live to be 112. I also have an AcornTV queue and an MHz Choice queue. (And a Google Play library and a VuDu wishlist and a Sling TV favorites list…) I just watched Bright and loved it. I want to start the new season of Black Mirror but I know I can’t watch just one episode so I’m waiting until I have a block of binge watching time. Same for Stranger Things. I watched the first few episodes of season 1 of The Crown and liked it more than I thought I would so I’ll get back to watching the rest of it, eventually. I’ve got to catch up with the new season of The Brokenwood Mysteries on AcornTV. I’m always on the lookout for a good true crime documentary and I’m waiting impatiently for the next Hinterland series. I also discovered podcasts and have become a Small Town Murders junkie and am at risk of becoming the same with Two Girls and a Ghost. But since I only need my ears for podcasts, instead of my ears and eyes, I can multitask while I listen. Podcasts remind me of old time radio shows. ROBIN:  I have another movie to mention.  Lady Bird is fantastic. Greta Gerwig nailed the suburban teenager experience along with the mother-daughter thing. That’s another one to rush out to see. Best Original Screenplay is going to be an interesting race to watch in the Academy Awards. If Jordan Peele and Greta Gerwig aren’t nominated, there’s something wrong with the world. SUSAN: I just watched Battle of the Sexes (on a plane) and liked it more than I expected. Billie Jean King is very inspiring, and I lately I find myself seeking out inspiring people. I have to put in a plug here for my son, Tom, who hosts a podcast about movies and New Haven, and there are more connections to movies and New Haven than you would think. I listen to it every week and always learn something new. deepfocusradio.com. ALISON: I’m terrible when it comes to movies. I’m a serious Star Wars fan, so I do see that on release day (or the night before), but most other movies I wait for until they come out in some format I can watch at home. Most recently, I’ve been loving Planet Earth 2. Not sure if that counts. I can watch The Princess Bride over and over. The same goes for almost all of the James Bond movies. Now, when it comes to popcorn… MICHELE:  I’m traveling so I am not watching movies at all. I’m having trouble streaming news here, so I haven’t considered doing movies. I really wanted to see The Post but it didn’t come out until after I left. I am reading and writing up a storm while in Mexico. I actually packed ten hardcovers from my towering TBR pile. It feels more homey with books around me.  Before my life became so mobile (I am not complaining about that one bit!), my husband and I liked to go to the Dedham Community theater where they show the movies not everyone is talking about. They have great popcorn topped with honest-to-goodness real butter. You can even buy beer and wine. I do miss that.  TRACEE: Michele, I like the idea of nothing to distract from reading. What a joy! And I’m going to have to tune into Susan’s son’s blog. What about everyone else? Stop by the MissDemeanors on Facebook and share your current watch list. 

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What's on your bucket list?

 Do I have a bucket list? Not really. I’ve done many things in my life, lived in a number of wonderful places, traveled to amazing destinations. Of course, there are other thing I’d like to do, but the list is in flux and I don’t feel prevented from doing them, it’s more a decision about timing and life balance. That changed when a few weeks ago I realized that I have perhaps missed the underlying meaning of a bucket list. I do have things I’d like to do, but know I won’t. Is that what is on a bucket list? What’s holding me back? Me. (Technically I think I may like the IDEA of doing these things more than the actual experience. No…. as I type these words I think, that’s wrong. I would love them. Okay, one of them might turn out to be a REALLY bad idea. You decide. But the other would be amazing.) The first is to travel the Silk Road. There are probably several ways to do this, however, one is organized by a well-respected travel group as a 47 day journey from China through Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Iran and Turkey. I don’t need to explain why this would be amazing. Upon review of their material I know that I could handle the basic requirements: decent health and the ability to drive a Range Rover. They state very clearly that they provide clean water throughout the trip (a plus). I’ll skip the other details, which outline what would surely be the most incredible trip of a life time – of anyone’s lifetime really, including Marco Polo’s and he started the whole adventure. (Let’s exclude astronauts from the “anyone’s lifetime” list. They get their own category.) Why am I not signing up to travel the Silk Road? Fear. Geopolitics. When I fly OVER some of these places in a commercial airline I am relieved to note we’ve ascended to 42,000 feet (which I have been assured is above the range of certain missiles). If traveling ABOVE these countries is a questionable notion, then driving on the ground with my American passport, is probably not a good idea. I know that the people there are wonderful as individuals, but….. geopolitics intrude and this trip qualifies as don’t do anything that will get your picture on CNN. Call me chicken.  I have another trip I’d like to make. The Peking Paris Road Rally. Clued in by the old-fashioned name? The Rally is a 8,510 mile, 36 day trip (drive? journey? slog?) across 11 countries from Asia to Europe undertaken in a pre-1975 automobile. China, Mongolia, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Slovenia, Italy, Switzerland, and France. Think about it! Technically there are two divisions, pre-1975 and then pre-1945. Seriously? I would have to go pre-1945. Imagine cruising across Mongolia in a 1920s Silver Ghost!Here are the rules. Each team (duo) must carry its own weight, and the organizers mean that literally. Tents, sleeping bags, spares, and supplies must all be loaded onto the rally car itself. (Again, the Silver Ghost seems like an excellent choice. Roomy.) Period attire is encouraged and vehicle modifications are a no-no. As the organizer points out: “Cars must be prepared in a period-style. No alloy-boxes on the back, no modern-looking ski-boxes or roof-top boxes. Appearance matters. Ratchet straps come in black and are preferable to bright blue, but leather straps do the job just as well and are more in keeping with the spirit of the event…. Crews must remember! Prince Borghese is looking down!”Prince Borghese was winner of the inaugural 1907 Peking-to-Paris race—although it’s said his chauffeur did most of the driving. Cleary the man was a stickler for style and authenticity.What’s holding me back? A near total lack of knowledge about cars or engines. I would need to acquire an appropriate car and bring an experienced mechanic as my travel partner (don’t forget that some nights are spent sleeping in the car, or at best in the tent…..choose your partner wisely). On the other hand, maybe I’ll get lucky and someone will want a travel partner and pick me! They can provide their favorite vintage car, do the mechanical part and I will provide support and a willingness to chat, or be silent… or read aloud. I can already drive any vehicle with a clutch – no matter how tricky – and could fit in some pre-travel mechanic’s lessons. Plus, I’m fearless (forget everything I said about the Silk Road trip….it doesn’t apply here). Maybe I should convince the Mystery Writers of America to challenge the International Thriller Writers and sponsor a bunch of cars (with mechanics). Think of all the good stories…. What is on your bucket list? Join the MissDemeanors on Facebook and share!   What is on your bucket list?

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